ABC AGENTS SO DUMB THEY DON'T KNOW WATER FROM BEER!

ABC AGENTS ARREST GIRL AT GUNPOINT WHO BOUGHT SPARKLING WATER! Know your booze ABC!

WOODY V. ARPAIO - WHO KNOWS BEST?

ARPAIO IS FAMOUS FOR HUMILIATING INMATES, WHILE SHERIFF WOODY HOLDS A FATHER-DAUGHTER DANCE IN JAIL! One seems much more productive than the other!

NAKED CRIMES CONTINUE!

NAKED MAN THROWING ROCKS AT CARS ENCOUNTERS POLICE, THROWS HIMSELF ON THEIR PATROL VEHICLE AND IS SHOT! Couldn't they see he had no weapon?

WHAT IS THE WORLD COMING TO?

FROM PEDOPHILE PRIESTS TO MONSIGNOR EMBEZZLERS! AT LEAST IT'S PROGRESS! Who can you trust these days?

NAKED CRIMES LIVE ANOTHER DAY!

WISCONSIN MAN PLEADS GUILTY TI HAVING SEX WITH A DISCARDED LOVE SEAT ON THE STREET! Yes, "with the love seat"!

NO MORE NAKED CRIMES? SAY IT AIN'T SO!

DEA DOES BIGGEST CRACK DOWN EVER ON SPICE, BATH SLATS AND OTHER DESIGNER DRUGS! Will the clothes come back on?

DUMB COPS!

TEXAS COP 'SHOOTS SERVICE DOG' WHILE SERVING WARRANT ON 'WRONG HOUSE'! Reading addresses can get confusing! Not!!!

NAKED CRIMES ARE BACK!

VERMONT POLICE INVOLVED IN HIGH SPEED PURSUIT WITH NAKED DRIVER ENDS IN CRASH! Are bath salts back?

DUMB CRIMINALS!

MAN USES CLEAR PLASTIC BAG OVER HIS HEAD AS A DISGUISE TO ROB GAS STATION! Arrested 2 days later!

WANTING TO GET NAKED CRIMES!

MAN STEALS PENIS ENLARGEMENT PILLS AND 'MAGNUM' SIZED CONDOMS FROM 7-ELEVEN! That'll be fun in jail!

MAN BEAT WITH HIS OWN LEG!

A SOUTH CAROLINA MAN BEAT A DISABLED MAN, AND THEN BEGAN HITTING HIM WITH HIS OWN PROSTHETIC LEG! That's just wrong!

NEAR NAKED CRIMES!

A 20-YEAR-OLD FLORIDA WOMAN LURED A MAN TO HER MOTEL ROOM FOR SEX, AND THEN ROBBED HIM WITH HER MALE ACCOMPLICE! Close, but no cigar!

GRANDMA GUNS DOWN INTRUDER!

A 72-YEAR-OLD GRANDMOTHER FROM ANAHEIM, CA GUNNED DOWN A BURGLAR INSIDE HER HOME! Responsible gun ownership!

NAKED CRIMES!

MAN DRESSED IN AN OBAMA T-SHIRT EXPOSES HIMSELF TO A 21-YEAR-OLD FEMALE WALMART SHOPPER! Bath salts???

DUMB CRIMINALS!

MAN DINES AND DITCHES HIS WAY TO 3-YEARS STATE PRISON! Good meals await! Not!

GRANDMA OF THE YEAR!

LOUISIANA GRANDMA AND HER FRIEND GET DRUNK, SO LET HER 10-YEAR-OLD GRANDSON DRIVE! Designated children?

CRAZY COP!

OHIO OFFICER RESPONDS TO A KITTEN COMPLAINT, AND SAYS THEY WILL GO TO "KITTY HEAVEN" BEFORE SHOOTING THEM! Animal cruelty charges should follow!

NEAR NAKED CRIMES!

MOTHER AND DAUGHTER STOPPED AT U.S.-CANADIAN BORDER FOUND TO HAVE OVER $60,000 HIDDEN IN THEIR BRAS! What a role model, mom!

GOLF GAME TURNS DEADLY!

GOLFER BREAKS GOLF CLUB OVER PARTNER'S ARM AND THEN STABS HIM WITH THE BROKEN CLUB FOR CHEATING! Cheaters never prosper!

DUMB CRIMINAL?

MAN PULLED OVER AND ARRESTED FOR DUI PROTESTS, "I WAS GOING TO AA!" A new defense?

DUMB COPS!

AN INCARCERATED FLORIDA SEX OFFENDER IS ALLOWED TO FIX JAIL EMPLOYEES LUNCHES RUBS THE SPOON ON HIS GENITALS! And they're surprised?

DUMB CRIMINALS!

19-YEAR-OLD SENTENCED TO 11 MONTHS HOUSE ARREST, ASKS TO GO TO JAIL TO FINISH BECAUSE HE IS OUT OF XBOX GAMES! Read a book!

DANGEROUS DOCTORS!

A GYNECOLOGIST IS SUED FOR SEXUAL ASSAULT AFTER 2 WOMAN ACCUSE HIM OF "EATING THE KITTY KAT"! The kitty kat, huh?

ANIMAL CRIMES!

72-YEAR-OLD IN BMW ALLEGEDLY INTENTIONALLY RUNS DOWN A MOTHER DUCK AND HER DUCKLINGS! Idiot!

FATHER OF THE YEAR NOMINEE!

MAN NAMES HIS CHILD ADOLF HITLER, THEN SHOWS UP AT A COURT HEARING REGARDING THE CHILD IN A FULL NAZI UNIFORM! Roll models!

ANIMAL CRIMES!

MAN SNEEKS OFF DURING ANIMAL SHELTER TO HAVE SEX WITH A PIT BULL! Wow!

NAKED CRIMES EXPLAINED?

ARE 'BATH SALTS' TO BLAME FOR THE SURGE IN NAKED CRIMES? The naked epidemic explained?

DUMB CRIMINALS!

TWO WOMEN REUNITE AFTER 15 YEARS AND CREATE A "BUCKET LIST" OF THINGS TO DO, INCLUDING STEALING TOGETHER! What else is on the list?

WITH US, OR AGAINST US?

FEDERAL JUDGE ORDERS GOOGLE TO TURN INFORMATION TO FBI WITHOUT A WARRANT! Our Founding Fathers are rolling in their graves!