Orange County's Premier Criminal Defense Boutique

Wednesday, December 28, 2016

Shuffleboard a dangerous sport?

An 81-year-old Florida man gets into a physical altercation at the Senior Center over a shuffleboard game! The octogenarian pled to a misdemeanor battery charge!

Thursday, December 15, 2016

Naked Crimes: NFL Edition

Former Atlanta Falcon running back, Jamal Anderson, begins masturbating in front of a store clerk in Georgia! I guess he didn't have the moves to get away!

Tuesday, December 6, 2016

Famous Mug Shots: Jimi Hendrix

Jimi Hendrix arrested in the Toronto airport on charges of possessing heroin and hashish. Heroin is the devil!

Naked Crimes: Landlord Edition

A Colorado landlord is caught on video entering a tenant's apartment, having sex with his partner on their bed, and cleaning up with tenant's dress! No words for this one!

Sunday, November 27, 2016

Naked Crimes: Scorned Woman

A Florida woman who sent naked pics of her x-husband to his parents and employer is arrested on misdemeanor charges. Hmm, I guess she thought it would help them reconcile?

Monday, November 21, 2016

Wife Runs Over Husband

A California woman ran over her husband because he... wait... wait for it... here it comes... he voted for Trump! I wonder what will happen now that Trump won?

Dumb Criminals

FBI is looking for the "Spelling Bee Bandit," so named as he writes notes telling bank clerks about the "robery." He should have stayed in "skool"!

Friday, November 18, 2016

Naked Crimes: Man Arrested for Mooning

A 78-year-old man is arrested in Louisiana after mooning a 29-year-old woman who turned down his sexual advances! I guess she wasn't looking for a sugar-daddy!

Tuesday, November 15, 2016

Naked Crimes: NFL Sex Tape

Denver Broncos linebacker, Von Miller, is seeking a court injunction to prohibit the release of a sex tape! I guess what happens in Cancun does not necessarily stay in Cancun!

Saturday, November 5, 2016

Naked and Drunk in Florida!

A Tennessee man found walking around a Florida Condo complex naked with a Coors Light can in hand pounding on doors looking for sex! Now there's a keeper, ladies!

Tuesday, November 1, 2016

Naked Crimes: Police Edition

A Police Officer on LSD breaks into the local YMCA to save the anti-masturbation Dolphin mascot from a burning fire that was an hallucination! I couldn't make this on up if I tried!!!

Thursday, October 27, 2016

The Great Pumpkin Robbery!

3 New Jersey men are seen on surveillance camera stealing 192 pumpkins! Charlie Brown does not approve!

Naked Crimes: Snapchat Edition

19-year-old Texan girl sends topless selfie to boyfriend moments before crashing into a police car! I wonder if the boyfriend crashed, too?

Tuesday, October 25, 2016

Naked Crimes: Quarter Pounder & Fries for Sex?

A Wyoming man arrives to meet prostitute carrying a Quarter Pounder and fries to pay for sex and is arrested in police sting! She wasn't even worth a Big Mac or Value Meal?

Monday, October 10, 2016

How did that get there?

A man was arrested and found to have heroin in his butt! Not just 1, 2 or 3 bags, but 110!!! Someone call Guinness! This has to be a record!

Wednesday, October 5, 2016

Naked Crimes - Assault with a Sex Toy!

A Florida man is arrested for slapping his girlfriend in the face with a sex toy! Does this only happen in Florida?

Legos Cause Brawl!

A father and son get into a fistfight over the father throwing away his 19-year-old son's legos! Thank goodness my parents new better!

Friday, September 30, 2016

Naked Crimes - Man Violates Orange Juice!

A 72-year-old man sneaks into woman's house and ejaculates into her orange juice container! Watch out for those video cameras! 

Friday, September 2, 2016

Coke at the Coca-Cola Plant?

There's nothing unusual about coke at a Coca-Cola plant, unless it's 815 pounds of cocaine! Police find 815 pounds of cocaine in French Coca-Cola plant

90 Year-Old Locks Cop in Basement!

90-year-old lady locks officer in basement during illegal search, and then wins a $95,000 settlement! The retired educator still teaching school!

Monday, August 22, 2016

Tuesday, July 26, 2016

Thursday, July 21, 2016

Mother of the Year Candidate!

A Pennsylvania mother is seen putting her 3 and 5 year-old children in the trunk of her car and driving away! Her booking photo shows a lot of remorse! 😳

Does Pokemon Catch Crooks?

Manchester, New Hampshire PD sent a message to their Top 500 Wanted Criminals telling them a special Pokemon was located in the department! Unfortunately, their Top 500 are either smarter than that, or don't play!

Saturday, July 16, 2016

No More Stealing & Eating Marijuana on the Job at SAPD!

3 SAPD Officers no longer on force after a video exposes them stealing and eating marijuana, and making fun of a handicapped woman while executing a search warrant! Justice is served!

Friday, July 8, 2016

A Noble Prison Break?

Texas inmates break out of a cell in Texas in order to save a guard who had fell down unconscious! Good deeds come from all places!

Tuesday, June 28, 2016

Murder Witness, a Parrot?

A parrot may be witness to a murder! The parrot keeps saying "Don't shoot!" in the victim's voice! Not sure how cross-examination will go....

Monday, June 27, 2016

Domestic Violence Misdemeanor is Lifetime Firearm Ban

Most people don't realize a DV plea to a misdemeanor is a lifetime firearm ban, and SCOTUS just upheld it. (18 USC 922(g)(9))

Wednesday, June 22, 2016

Naked Crimes - Courtroom Edition

An Alabama man in court on indecent exposure charges, drops his pants to his ankles, enters the courtroom and announces, "Court's back in session!" I just report them...

Saturday, June 11, 2016

Bike Thief Stopped Old School Style!

An Oregon man, who heard a woman scream as her bike was being stolen, jumped on his horse and lassoed the thief! Who says the Old West is dead?

Wednesday, June 1, 2016

Monday, May 23, 2016

SCOTUS Overturns Death-Penalty Case

Chief Justice Roberts is joined by all, except Uncle Tom - Justice Thomas, in finding racial bias in jury selection by the government! Chief Justice Roberts never ceases to amaze me!

Tuesday, May 10, 2016

Wednesday, May 4, 2016

Naked Crimes - Sex Shook the House!

A Pennsylvania woman had such loud sex that the cancer stricken neighbors could hear and the dresser shook! Mom made the kids wear headphones!

Florida DUI Driver's Outrageous BAC Level!

A Florida man was arrested for DUI and reported to have a BAC of 0.604%, which is 7 1/2 times the legal limit! Oh yeah, you're supposed to be dead at 0.50%!

Tuesday, April 26, 2016

Naked Teacher Crimes

A Utah teacher justifies her relationship with 16 and 17 year old boys by saying their grades improved! I think she was referring to their Biology grades!

Wednesday, April 20, 2016

Judge Declares Babies' Names Illegal!

A Welsh woman wanted to name her twins "Cyanide" and "Preacher", but judge declared the name "Cyanide" could cause the child emotional harm! She thought Cyanide was positive since the poison killed Stalin and Hitler!

Monday, April 11, 2016

Naked Animal Crimes

Boyfriend shows cops his phone pics to prove he did not batter his girlfriend, and cops find pics of girlfriend having sex with dogs! You can't make this stuff up!

Naked Crimes - Drones Edition

An Oklahoma hooker is caught on video with a John by a drone! Maybe the front seat of the car was not the least conspicuous location....

Naked Stripper Crimes

A Wisconsin stripper is arrested after biting a customer's genitals during a lap dance! Maybe she thought that was her tip!

Sunday, April 3, 2016

Snap, Crackle, Pee!

A man is caught peeing into Kellogg's Rice Crispy Treat production line! What gets into people?

Thursday, March 10, 2016

Monday, March 7, 2016

Woman Steals Sex Toy

A Florida woman steals a vibrating sex toy, as she does not want to cheat on her husband! Moral Issue: Stealing v. Adultery....

Monday, February 22, 2016

Dumb Criminals

Minneapolis bus driver steals a bus after his shift, so he wouldn't be late to his 2nd job! At least he is dependable!

Thursday, February 18, 2016

Naked Teacher Crimes

I've heard about new math, but did not know it included BJ's in class, and taking turns having sex with the teacher! Arkansas math teacher has sex with 3 students at once!

Wednesday, February 17, 2016

Cops do good!

A Massachusetts Police Officer is called to investigate loitering, and ends up buying groceries and getting a room for the homeless woman! Using $$$ out of his own pocket!

Not above the law!

A New York judge is charged with DUI... on the way to court!!! Stopped at 8:00 am! Oops!

Friday, February 12, 2016

Naked Teacher Crimes

Florida high school gym teacher is suspended and under investigation for sending and receiving nude photos to and from her students! No, Snapchat is not completely anonymous!

Friday, January 15, 2016

Naked Crimes - Waffle House Edition

A Georgia woman strips off her clothes in a Waffle House, and then assaults a woman and throws plates of food! Duh, you have to do that naked!

Thursday, January 14, 2016

Dumb Criminals

A fugitive sends police a selfie to replace his wanted mugshot because "that one is terrible"! Can you say vain? Narcissistic?

Naked Crimes Continue

An intoxicated Pennsylvania woman takes a butcher knife to a man's genitals! The reason is still unclear!

Monday, January 11, 2016


How do you celebrate a proposal at Walmart? By stealing 2 thongs, a vibrator and oral sex candy at Spencer's! A classy couple!

Sunday, January 3, 2016

Naked and Voyeur Crimes

A naked man wearing a Ronald Reagan mask and sock over his privates, is busted looking in couple's window! Is it a Republican thing?

Naked Crimes for 20161

A Florida woman was stopped and after being patted down, handed over the marijuana and cigar she had hidden in her vagina! She hid that where?