BOYFRIENDS GONE BAD!

WOMAN ASSAULTS BOYFRIEND WITH KNIFE AFTER HE REFUSES TO CUDDLE! She sounds like a keeper! Not!

JUKEBOX HERO?

MAN IS STABBED IN THE STOMACH OVER WHICH SONG TO PLAY ON THE JUKEBOX! Depending on the song, it may have been justified!

NAKED CRIMES!

OREGON MAN HIGH ON METH FIGHTS OFF COPS IN A RESTAURANT ALL WHILE CONTINUE TO MASTURBATE! You must have your priorities!

SPIDERMAN ROBS STORE!

A MAN IN A SPIDERMAN MASK ROBS A FLORIDA CIRCLE-K! Just who can you trust if not an Avenger?

THE SQUIRREL WAS THIRSTY!

MAN RETURNS HOME LATE ON CHRISTMAS EVE AND IS STABBED BY WIFE WITH A CERAMIC SQUIRREL FOR "NOT BRINGING HOME BEER"! Squirrels get angry when thirsty!

CRIMINAL KRIS KRINGLE!

A FLORIDA MAN DRESSED AS SANTA CLAUS ROBS A BANKS WITH A WRAPPED GIFT! Some things are supposed to be sacred!

FLORIDA MAN HOLDS SIGN, "I BEAT WOMEN. HONK IF I'M A SCUMBAG"

THE VICITM OF THE "SCUMBAG'S" DOMESTIC ABUSE GAVE HIM A CHOICE: CRIMINAL CHARGES, OR WEAR SIGN FOR 8 HOURS! Look who's in charge now!

DUMB CRIMINALS!

A NEW JERSEY MAN SHOWS UP AT THE DMV FOR A DRIVING TEST WITH A BAC OF 0.13%! I guess they didn't ask that question on the test!

DUMB CRIMINALS!

TEXAS MAN ROBS BANK, LEAVES TRAIL OF MONEY, AND IS THEN ROBBED OF THE LOOT HE JUST STOLE! Bad luck is this guy's only luck!

MOTHER-OF-THE-YEAR LATE ENTRY!

MISSOURI MOTHER POSES TOPLESS WITH HER 14-YEAR-OLD ALSO TOPLESS DAUGHTER FOR PIC! Monkey see, monkey do!

ANOTHER LAST MINUTE PARENT OF THE YEAR ENTRY!

NEW YORK PARENTS AND GRANDFATHER MADE 23-MONTH-OLD TODDLER SMOKE MARIJUANA! Get your entries in before the year-end!

CHRISTMAS CRIMES!

DON'T START DECORATING THE TREE UNTIL EVERYONE IS HOME, OR A FIGHT WILL BREAK OUT AND THE COPS CALLED! Ho, ho, ho!!!

COPS BEING PUNKED!

A COMEDIAN BAKED COOKIES TO LOOK LIKE CELL PHONES, THEN DROVE AROUND, WAS PULLED OVER, AND TOOK A BITE OF PHONE! Pretty funny!

PACKIN' VICTIMS!

76-YEAR-OLD MAN SHOOTS BURGLAR IN THE ARM AFTER HEARING NOISES! Better to not stereotype your victims!

NAKED CRIMES!

A CALIFORNIA MAN WAS ARRESTED FOR RUNNING A "REVENGE PORN" WEBSITE, AND ANOTHER THAT CHARGED TO REMOVE THE CONTENT! Hmm, sounds like blackmail?!?

ANOTHER FATHER-OF-THE-YEAR CONTESTANT!

MAN LEAVES 4-MONTH-OLD SON IN THE CAR WHILE HE GOES IN STRIP BAR! A guess the "Birds and the Bees" talk was premature!

ANIMAL CRIMES!

22-YEAR-OLD NEVADA MAN ARRESTED AFTER KILLING THE FAMILY DOG STATES, "I LIKE HURTING DOGS!" A future Dexter?

PARENT OF THE YEAR FINALIST!

SHOPLIFTING MOTHER RUNS OUT OF THE STORE, LEAVING HER 4-YEAR-OLD BEHIND! Oops, I forgot something!

NAKED CRIME VICTIMS!

A TOPLESS WOMAN IN A DRESSING ROOM NOTICES A PEEPING-TOM, AND CHASES HIM THROUGH THE STORE WHILE TOPLESS! I think the defendant won this one either way!

DUMB CRIMINALS!

WOMAN IN A CAR ACCIDENT BLEEDING FROM VAGINA EVENTUALLY ADMITS IT FROM THE GLASS CRACK PIPE SHE HID! Really, glass in her vagina???

DUMB CRIMINAL GETS HIS BUTT KICKED!

WOULD BE PURSE-SNATCHER PICKS THE WRONG VICTIM, AND SHE KICKS HIS BUTT! Don't assume someone is vulnerable!

NAKED COLORADO CRIMES!

A WOMAN IS ARRESTED FOR TOPLESS HAIRCUTS WITHOUT A LICENSE! Colorado must be crime free to sink to this level of arrest!

NAKED CRIMES RETURN!

A FLORIDA MAN IS ARRESTED AFTER RUNNING AROUND HIS APARTMENT COMPLEX NAKED YELLING "I LOVE COCAINE"! You sure it wasn't bath salts?