Criminal Defense Attorney in Fullerton Explains How Crimes Are Classified

As a criminal defense attorney in Fullerton, we help clients that have been charged with a variety of different crimes.  Regardless of how minor or how serious, it is important to work with a skilled lawyer that can help to get the charges reduced, dropped, or work to have a jury declare your innocence.  Even first-time offenders need to be aware of this as each time you are convicted the penalties get worse as the court begins to see a pattern of criminal behavior. 

If you are charged with a crime, there are three main types of classifications that those charges could fall under.  If convicted, the penalties will be based on the classification of the crime, making it important to work with a lawyer that can argue for a lesser charge and, therefore, lesser penalties, whenever possible. 

Infractions
Infractions are the least serious type of offense.  The penalties are typically minor vehicle code violations and sometimes even municipal code matters.  An example of an infraction would be a speeding ticket.  Typically only fines are associated with infractions though they could lead to jail time if the fines aren’t paid or you receive too many though this is rare.  If you get a driving infraction, you may want to work with an attorney to help you fight the charge so that it doesn’t impact your insurance rates.

Misdemeanor
If you are charged with a misdemeanor, you should speak with a criminal defense attorney in Fullerton right away.  There are several classifications within a misdemeanor charged based on the crime that you are accused of.  A misdemeanor conviction typically comes with a combination of jail time and a fine. It is important to fight these charges to ensure that you are either not convicted or get a minimal penalty that includes local jail rather than the state prison.  A conviction can go both ways in the sense that you could end up with a small fine and a short stint in the local jail, or you could be sent to state prison for years.  The key is to work with an attorney that is experienced and can fight for your innocence. 

Felony
This is the most serious criminal charge that can be brought against you and is typically used for everything from arson to murder.  Within the felony category, there are additional categories based on the type of crime that they claim you committed and how it was committed.  With murder, for example, you could be charged with involuntary manslaughter (a lesser offense) or murder in the first degree (punishable by death in some states).  Since there are various levels of charges, it is important to get criminal defense attorney in Fullerton to take the case right away.  When working with the prosecutor from the very beginning, there may be ways to get the charges reduced before ever going to court.  Those convicted of a felony typically spend time in state prison and also pay a fine.

If you have been charged with a crime, or fear that you may be, give us a call to discuss your options and your defense. 

DIDN'T GET TO GET NAKED CRIMES

GIRLFRIEND WHO ACCUSES BOYFRIEND OF "TALKING TO ANOTHER GIRL" THROWS BOX OF CONDOMS AT HIM IS ARRESTED! I bet the box is still full!

NAKED CRIMES AT VATICAN

A TOPLESS FEMALE ACTIVIST IS ARRESTED FOR ATTEMPTING TO STEAL BABY JESUS!   She screamed, "God is woman!"

TRYING TO GET NAKED CRIMES

MAN GROPED WOMAN IN THE McDONALD'S DRIVE-THRU! Defendant admits, "Yes, I'm a ladies man. That girl ... wants me!"

WHOSE THE CRIMINAL HERE?

MAN PULLS GUN AFTER BEING SHORTED A BURGER IN THE DRIVE-THRU! Joe Pesci warned us, "They f&*$ you at the drive-thru!"

FIXING CRIMINAL JUSTICE

PROFESSOR OFFERS 10 WAYS TO IMPROVE CRIMINAL JUSTICE IN THE U.S. Food for thought!

DUMB CRIMINALS

WOMAN ASSAULTS HER OWN GRANDMOTHER FOR NOT ACCEPTING FACEBOOK FRIEND REQUESTS! We know why she refused now!

BUD WEISSER ARRESTED!

YES, BUD WEISSER WAS ARRESTED FOR BURGLARY - NO SIGN OF ALCOHOL! I hope Coors Light stays clean!

A VOTE AGAINST CAPITAL PUNISHMENT

A 14-YEAR-OLD BOY EXECUTED 70 YEARS AGO HAS BEEN EXONERATED! There are no words for how wrong this is....

CONGRESS ENDS BAN ON MEDICAL MARIJUANA

QUIETLY, AND WITH LITTLE FANFARE, CONGRESS ENDS BAN ON "MEDICAL" MARIJUANA ONLY. Baby steps...

DUMB CRIMINALS

MAN'S DUI DEFENSE IS THE ALCOHOL CAME FROM BEER-BATTERED FISH! Uh, sure it did!

WHERE HAVE OUR RIGHTS GONE?

STUDENT PULLED OVER FOR PLAYING N.W.A.'S "F%&* THE POLICE!" Did I mention he is a Harvard Grad and current Law Student?

MOTHER OF THE YEAR CANDIDATE

MOM FORCES 10-YEAR-OLD SON TO DRESS IN DRAG SO SHE CAN PHOTO AND PUT ON FACEBOOK! People are just stupid!

CRIMINAL SCROOGES

A MISSISSIPPI MAN PUSHES DOWN A SALVATION ARMY BELL RINGER AND STEALS MONEY BUCKET! He'll find coal in his stocking!

NAKED CRIMES FIGHT

IN FLORIDA, TWIN SISTERS FIGHT OVER BOYFRIEND AND VIBRATOR! Do you really need both?

JUST WRONG!

THE GARNER GRAND JURY INDICTS 1 PERSON INVOLVED; THE GUY WHO FILMED IT! Wrong in so many ways!

SUPERHERO CRIMES

BATMAN AND CAPTAIN AMERICA PISTOL WHIP OKLAHOMA WOMAN IN ROBBERY ATTEMPT! Holy cow! Say it ain't so!

NAKED HOT TUB CRIMES

A FIGHT INSUES AFTER 2 OF THE 3 MEN IN THE HOT TUB ARGUE OVER WHO IS THEHIGHER PAID ESCORT! Dilemmas!

How to Select the Right Fullerton Attorney

If you need legal help, it can be challenging to find the right Fullerton attorney. It isn’t for a shortage of attorneys, in fact, it is the opposite.  There are so many lawyers that it can be overwhelming to sort through them and select the right one for the job.  As a local lawyer, our practice has been refined over time to where we specialize in certain types of cases.  This makes us an expert in the areas of drug defense, criminal defense, DUI’s, manslaughter, vehicular manslaughter, and third strike laws.  While we can help in other situations, this is where our services really shine.  

The benefit of working with an expert in the type of law you need cannot be overstated.  There are so many laws on the books that it is impossible to be an expert at everything.  It is, however, possible to gain vast knowledge and experience in specific areas of the law.  Clients benefit, as a result, because lawyers that specialize understand the small nuances of the law that can make or break a case.  It also means that lawyers are used to going before certain judges and have a good understanding of how they tend to rule in certain areas.  As with any profession, the more you focus on a specialty, the better results you will see. 

When trying to select a Fullerton attorney, ask yourself these questions:

Are you on the offense or defense?  If you are on the offense that means that you want to sue someone else. As an example, filing a personal injury claim or suing a company for making a bad product.  In this case, you need an attorney that specializes in civil litigation.  If you are on the defense that means that you have been accused of a crime or are likely to be accused of one.  In this case, you need an attorney that can defend you in court and protect your rights.  Attorney’s that practice civil litigation, typically don’t practice criminal law and if they do, ask which one they specialize in.  This becomes particularly important when hiring someone to keep you out of jail. Your life depends on it, so if they are normally a civil attorney, you could suffer from their inexperience.

How serious is your case?  If you have been charged with a crime, you need to look at how serious those charges are.  For example, if you have been accused of your first DUI, there are a lot of attorneys that can help you to get out of it.  This is a simple first-time offense and as such, many lawyers offer these services with the same results.  If, however, you have been convicted in the past, you need a criminal lawyer that can fight to keep you free.  The field is significantly smaller when looking for these attorneys.  For example, we specialize in third-strike cases, so when there has been a prior conviction we don’t shy away from the case, but are experts at defending our clients in court. 

When considering which Fullerton attorney to hire, make sure to select one that has enough experience to give you the best shot at success. 

DUMB CRIMINALS

WOMAN AWAKES FROM A BENDER AND STABS BOYFRIEND FOR EATTING TURKEY WITHOUT HER! Must have been really good turkey!

CRIMES WITH MANNERS

ARMED MAN ROBS TOBACCO STORE AND TELLS CLERK, "SORRY I SCARED YOU. HAVE A NICE DAY!" Southern hospitality!

NAKED CRIME SPREE

A BAND OF FLORIDA ROBBERS MAKE VICTIMS STRIP AFTER BEING ROBBED! Afterthought or getaway plan?

Speak With a DUI Lawyer If Someone Was Injured Due to Your Driving

As a DUI lawyer, we will start negotiating for lesser charges if you are charged with a felony.  Here’s what you could face upon a felony conviction:

• Up to ten years in California state jail plus additional time based on the extent of the injuries you caused
• A fine of $1,000 to $5,000
• An alcohol program that lasts from eighteen to thirty months
• Three years as a Habitual Traffic Offender
• A strike on your record that goes towards the three strike rule
• Financial restitution to the other party

The results of a felony conviction can be devastating. By negotiating to get the charges reduced ahead of time, you will face fewer risks in the courtroom.  

As DUI lawyer, it is important to build a case for innocence and why you should not be convicted of this crime. It is essential that you discuss everything leading up to the incident, including any other conditions that could have been contributing factors such as bad weather conditions or a roadway that wasn’t maintained. This will help to paint a picture for how the accident may have happened regardless.  Additionally, information on what you were doing drinking and your daily life can help to demonstrate that drinking excessively was out of character and unintentional.  Demonstrating that overindulging was accidental can potentially help.

When possible, showing compensating circumstances may help the case. For example, working a long shift and being tired can make alcohol have a greater impact on physical ability than it normally would and being tired can produce similar reactions as being drunk.  This is why we recommend resting prior to driving if you are exhausted.  

If you have been arrested after injuring someone while drinking and driving, it is important to start working on your defense immediately.  These are serious charges that can lead to jail time and a permanent criminal record.  Don’t risk your freedom by treating this like an auto accident. Call our office to speak with a DUI lawyer today. 

DUMB CRIMINALS

WOMAN STEALS $6,400.00 WORTH OF KIOLBASSA! I guess she didn't get enough sausage at home!

DRUGS - BEFORE AND AFTER

FORMER BEAUTY QUEEN ARRESTED FOR METH AND HEROINE POSSESSION! The before and after pics are the best rehab ever!

NAKED CRIMES FALL FROM CEILING

A NAKED MAN FELL OUT OF THE WOMEN'S BATHROOM CEILING AND ATTACKED ELDERLY MAN! Some things can's be explained!

VIGILANTE JUSTICE

THE HACKER, ACTIVIST GROUP ANONYMOUS TAKES OVER THE FERGUSON KKK SITE OUTTING MEMBERS! Good work Anonymous!

NAKED HYPNOTIZING CRIMES

OHIO ATTORNEY HYPNOTIZES FEMALE CLIENTS TO HAVE SEX WITH HIM AND NOT REMEMBER IT! Well, she remmebered!

STEP-FATHER OF THE YEAR?

MAN SHATTERS CLUB WINDOW WITH BUTT OF A SHOTGUN IN ATTEMPT TO STOP HIS STEP-DAUGHTER FROM STRIPPING! Who said parenting is easy?

AN HISTORIC TURN?

FOR THE 1ST TIME EVER, A PROSECUTOR ENDS UP INCARCERATED FOR WILLFULLY HDING EVIDENCE! Knowingly convicted an innocent man!

NAKED STRIP CLUB CRIMES

COUPLE ARRESTED AFTER THE TWO GET AMOROUS IN THE FRONT ROW WATCHING THE DANCERS! Arrested? Not just asked to leave?

DIRTY CRIMINALS

A WALMART WORKER IS CAUGHT USING DEODORANT STICKS AND THEN REPLACING THEM ON THE STORE SHELVES! Just plain wrong!

DUMB CRIMINALS

KENTUCKY WOMAN ARRESTED FOR DRUG CHARGES WAS WEARING AN "I LOVE CRYSTAL METH" T-SHIRT! I did mention it was in Kentucky?

NAKED COP CRIMES

LAPD OFFICER IS CHARGED WITH FLASHING MULTIPLE WOMEN AGES 12 TO 80 WHILE OFF-DUTY! Officer, is that a baton?

NAKED NFL CHEERLEADER CRIMES

A 47-YEAR-OLD FORMER RAVENS CHEERLEADER IS CHARGED WITH 3RD DEGREE RAPE OF 15-YEAR-OLD! Can you say cougar?

A Fullerton Lawyer Can Help if You’re Charged With Drug Cultivation

As a Fullerton lawyer, we help clients that have been charged with a drug crime. In California, the drug laws can be complicated and confusing.  As such, it can be difficult for people to know whether or not they are following the law, making them susceptible to breaking it without even trying to. This is especially true with California marijuana laws, leading many people to be charged with cultivation.

In California, it is legal to grow marijuana, but only if a doctor has recommended that you do so.  You need to have a written recommendation and a medical marijuana card in order to grow it.  Still, there is a limit to how much you can grow, and if you exceed that amount, you can be charged with drug cultivation.  This is a serious crime that can lead to jail time so if you are arrested and charged with cultivation, make sure that you contact an attorney right away. 

You can also be charged with drug cultivation even if you don’t have actual drugs.  If you are caught with the chemicals necessary for creating meth or PCP, you can be arrested.  The only exception is if you are carrying a permit allowing you to do so.  If, for example, you are pulled over by the police and they find chemicals they can arrest you.   This can be challenging for people that have nothing to do with drugs and were unaware they had some of the ingredients necessary to create them. This makes it important to refuse a search without a warrant and to speak with a Fullerton lawyer right away if you are arrested. 

The penalties for drug cultivation vary based on the type of drugs that they believe you are trying to make.  If, for example, you are caught with too much marijuana you could face around two years in jail but the penalties are typically less.  As a Fullerton lawyer, we can help to get the penalties further reduced by demonstrating that you were not growing marijuana in order to sell it but to use it personally.  This comes with a lesser penalty. The same is true when carrying the chemicals necessary for creating PCP and meth.  If we can prove that you were using the drugs instead of selling them, the penalty will be reduced from the seven years that it can be. 

If you have never been charged with a crime before, you still need to hire an attorney.  If you are convicted of a drug crime, you will likely spend time in jail and no matter what, you will have a criminal record.  This can impact your ability to get and maintain a job, get custody of your kids and even rent an apartment in the future.  If you are convicted, your entire life can be disrupted, so this is a chance not worth taking.  Instead, get professional help so that you have the best shot at staying free. 

NAKED ANIMAL CRIMES

WOMAN'S SEX TAPES OF HER AND A PIT BULL FOUND AFTER SHE WAS ARRESTED FOR DRUGS AND HOME SEARCHED! Drugs make you do strange things!

DUMB CRIMINALS

A NEW YORK 'ZOMBIE' WOMAN ARRESTED FOR DUI TWICE IN 3 HOURS! Zombies were never said to be smart!

NAKED DREAM CRIMES

MAN AWAKES TO A WOMAN PERFORM ORAL SEX ON HIM WHO HAD BROKE INTO HIS HOUSE! Are they sure he wasn't dreaming?

NAKED BEAGLE CRIMES

MAN THOUGHT IT WAS 'OK' TO HAVE SEX WITH BEAGLE BECAUSE IT WAS OVER 40LBS AND SPAYED! Well, that makes sense!

A Criminal Defense Lawyer Represents People Charged with Manslaughter

As a criminal defense lawyer in Fullerton, we represent clients that have been charged with manslaughter. While this is a serious charge, remember that everyone is innocent until proven guilty.  Our job is to make a case for innocence and create enough reasonable doubt that the jury doesn’t issue a conviction.  Due to the serious nature, and stiff penalties, associated with manslaughter, we recommend hiring an attorney right away so that there is the proper time to build your defense. 

There are several types of manslaughter charges: voluntary, involuntary and vehicular.  Voluntary manslaughter is the most serious of these offenses.  While still short of a murder charge, a conviction can lead to up to eleven years in jail. With this type of case, half of the battle is to make sure that the prosecutor doesn’t attempt to prove murder, instead.  In order for a crime to be considered voluntary manslaughter we must show that the crime happened in the heat of the moment and was not premeditated. For example, if you were in a fight or went into a fit of rage upon finding out someone harmed your family member that would be a crime of passion and therefore manslaughter. If, however, the death was premeditated it could lead to a murder charge. 

As a criminal defense lawyer, we work to build a strong case for our clients’ innocence.  If we can create enough reasonable doubt, the jury will be unlikely to deliver a manslaughter conviction.  If, however, it is clear that some sort of conviction will occur, we will work to get the penalties reduced and prevent the charges from escalating to murder.  This is important given how easy it is to turn a manslaughter charge into a more serious crime.  For example, in California, a prosecutor can go for a murder charged if there was a sufficient cooling off period from the time that a person became aware of an injustice, like a cheating spouse, to when they killed someone.  If sufficient time passed between the two events, it would appear that the murder was premeditated or planned out in advance. We work to protect our clients by proving that this is not the case. 

When someone is convicted of voluntary manslaughter there is a standard jail sentence of 3, 6 or 11 years.  As a criminal defense lawyer, we will present mitigating factors to try and get the judge to reduce the penalties during sentencing.  Judges have the leeway to do so, and as a lawyer we will demonstrate a lack of criminal history and the unlikelihood that a crime would be committed again. For example, a person committing a crime of passion would have no reason to reoffend since it was in response to the action of someone else.  A prosecutor, on the other hand, will try and present aggravating factors such as the brutality of the crime in order to have a stiffer penalty issued.  This makes it important to work with an experienced lawyer every step of the way. 

HATE CRIMES TREATED TEXAS STYLE

A MAN ATTACKS A POSSIBLY GAY MAN ONLY TO BE BEAT DOWN BY TEXAS BYSTANDERS!  Texas justice!

TRULY REMORSEFUL CRIMINALS

A MAN WHO ROBS A GAS STATION, REGRETS HIS DECISION AND RETURNS MONEY A COUPLE HOURS LATER!That's true remorse!

DUMB CRIMINALS

A BRITISH MAN STEALS 40,000 POUNDS AND THEN FAKES A COMA FOR 2 YEARS TO AVOID COURT! Fakes a come? Really?

NAKED CRIMES SHOPPING

18-YEAR-OLD STEALS HANDCUFFS, ERECTION CREAM AND MORE ON HER SHOPPING SPREE! A girl needs to be prepared!

NAKED SUBSTITUTE TEACHER CRIMES

SUBSTITUTE TEACHER HAS ORAL SEX WITH STUDENT ON HER FIRST DAY! It must have been an accelerated class!

MORE NAKED TEACHER CRIMES

A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER IS MAD A NUDE PHOTO OF HER IS RELEASED, ADMITS TO SEX WITH STUDENT! She was a biology teacher!

LEGAL LEADERS - Top Rated Lawyers 2014

Mr. Kent is honored to be included again in Martindale-Hubbell "TOP RATED LAWYERS 2014" as seen in the Los Angeles Times, The Wall Street Journal, and more.

DUMB CRIMINALS

WOMAN GETS STUCK TRYING TO BURGLARIZE HOME THROUGH CHIMNEY! Didn't she remember St. Nick used magic?

FATHER OF THE YEAR NOMINEE

DRUNK PENNSYLVANIA FATHER LET'S HIS 8-YEAR-OLD SON DRIVE HOME! Who would have thought he'd crash?

NAKED PASTER CRIMES

'BLACK MAGIC' PASTOR MOLESTS TEEN TO CURE OF HOMOSEXUALITY! Stupid is as stupid does....

ALMOST NAKED CRIMES

PLAYBOY WANNABE AND BOYFRIEND ARRESTED WITH CASY, 50 BOATS AND 40 KILOS OF ECSTASY! Poor thing, Playboy didn't run her photos!

MOTHER OF THE YEAR NOMINEE CHARGED

LA MOTHER WHOSE 17-YEAR-OLD SON BROUGHT GUN TO SCHOOL CHARGED WITH IMPROPER STORAGE! All guns should be safely stored!

NAKED STUFFED ANIMAL CRIMES

FLORIDA MAN MASTURBATES ON A STUFFED ANIMAL BEFORE RETURNING IT TO THE STORE SHELF! Uh, yes, in a Walmart!

DUMB CRIMINALS

MAN IMPERSONATING A COP TRIES TO PULL OVER AN OFF-DUTY OFFICER! Oops, my bad!

NAKED CRIMES - AFFAIRS

WIFE INTERRUPTS HUSBAND DURING SEXUAL AFFAIR ONLY TO HAVE HER LIFE THREATENED FOR INTERRUPTING! Oops, my bad!?!?!?

MARVELOUS MUGSHOTS

MAN WITH TOM BRADY HELMET TATTOO ON HIS HEAD ARRESTED FOR DRUGS! Who would have thought?

NAKED TREE CRIMES

A WOMAN WAS FOUND NAKED IN A TREE AND HER BOYFRIEND NAKED KNOCKING ON DOORS! Can you say, "Meth?"

NAKED COP CAR CRIMES

COUPLE ARRESTED FOR SWERVING STARTED HAVING SEX IN BACK OF PATROL CAR! Wonder why they swerved?

GIRL TROUBLE

INTOXICATED, STRIPPER GIRLFRIEND ATTACKS BOYFRIEND WITH AN AX FOR IGNORING HER! Did he forget to pay for a lapdance?

DUMB COPS

COPS, ARMED TO THE HILT, DRUG DOGS, AND HELICOPTER CONVERGE ON A MARIJUANA, UH, I MEAN, OKRA FARM! They're both green!

MOTHER OF THE YEAR NOMINEE

A 4-YEAR-OLD BRINGS HEROIN TO DAYCARE AND PASSES IT OUT LIKE CANDY! Thank God no one died!

12 UNBELIEVABLE ARRESTS

THINGS YOU WOULD HAVE NEVER IMAGINED WOULD HAVE GOTTEN YOU ARRESTED! Hard to believe!

NAKED AIRPORT CRIMES

A NAKED MAN ACTING ERRATICALLY AT ATLANTA AIRPORT WAS TASED WITH A STUN GUN! Talk about feeling vulnerable?

How a DUI Attorney Can Help You On Your Second or Third Offense

A DUI attorney can help you if you have been pulled over while driving under the influence.  If this is your first offense, you may be concerned about the process and we can help you to navigate through it.  If, however, you have been convicted of a DUI in the past and gotten off easy don't expect the same results.  Judges are typically more lenient on first-time offenders with many doing community service and paying a fine.  If, however, you have already been convicted and are now facing a second or third DUI charge, don’t expect a light sentence again.  Driving under the influence is a serious criminal offense and after your first conviction the courts will treat it that way.

If you get convicted of a second or third offense, you will probably lose your driver's license.  This will negatively impact your ability to get to work, pick up your kids, and generally meet your obligations.  Even buying groceries becomes a chore when you are unable to drive.  On your second conviction, the typical license suspension is two years while on your third it is ten.  If you are convicted, expect to be a long term member of the bus riding community.

Fortunately, as a DUI attorney, we can help by trying to get the charges reduced to reckless driving instead of a DUI charge. If the evidence is strong and we are unable to have the charges reduced, we will make a case for why you should receive a light penalty and how your ability to drive is necessary for your family.  In order to make this argument we need to ask a variety of questions to learn more about you, what you do, your family and how being unable to drive could impact your family’s livelihood.  

For second-time offenders, it is easier to make these arguments.  If you have been convicted of a DUI twice, the penalties become even stiffer on the third conviction.  If you are allowed to drive, it is mandatory for an ignition interlocking device to be installed on your car.  This will be done at your expense.  Once installed, your car will not start without you taking a mandatory breathalyzer test every time you step behind the wheel.  This can be embarrassing, expensive, and inconvenient at the very least. 

In California, you can be charged and convicted of a DUI if you have a 0.08 BAC level or higher.  This is common knowledge, but many people are not aware that if you are driving a commercial vehicle the BAC limit is 0.04 and if you are a minor it is 0.02.  If you fall into either of the latter two categories, you need to be additionally careful to be sure that you do not drink alcohol before driving and if you do, call a DUI attorney immediately upon being pulled over.  

While the laws vary in every state, California has an implied consent law that states if you apply for a driver's license, you are giving consent to sobriety tests including a breathalyzer.  This means that refusing to take the test is not a reasonable defense, and it can get your license taken away.  The best course of action then is to call a DUI lawyer to represent you.

NAKED TRUCKER CRIMES!

A SEMI DRIVER WHO REAR ENDED A SCHOOL BUS WAS APPARENTLY DISTRACTED BY NAKED WOMAN IN FRONT SEAT! Wonder why she was naked?

NAKED TEACHER CRIMES

TWO TEACHERS ARE CHARGED WITH HAVING SEX WITH A MALE HIGH SCHOOL STUDENT. Was it math: 1+1+1=3 or French: Menage...

DUMB CRIMINALS

A UPS WORKER STOLE A $160,00.00 DIAMOND, AND THEN SWAPPED IT FOR A BAG OF POT! Hmm, can you say, "Stoned"?

MOTHER OF THE YEAR CANDIDATE

A MOTHER OF 2 BEATS UP NEIGHBOR WHO HAD JUST BAILED OUT ON CHILD PORN CHARGES! Don't mess with her kids!

UBER NAKED CRIMES

AN UBER DRIVER WAS ARRESTED FOR GROPING A PASSENGER WHO ASKED FOR IT WITH HER LOW-CUT TOP! Does she still tip?

MOTHER OF THE YEAR CANDIDATE

MOM PLACED INFANT IN THE TRUNK IN ORDER TO NOT GET A TICKET FOR NO CHILD SEAT! Sometimes there's nothing to add!

INFAMOUS DUI RECORD

RHODE ISLAND MAN IS ARRESTED NOT JUST ONCE, OR TWICE, OR 3 TIMES, BUT 4 TIMES IN 30 HOURS FOR DUI! Talk about not giving up!

NAKED TRUCK STOP CRIMES

POLICE ARREST WANK FOR PUBLIC LEWDNESS! With a name like Wank, could he really help himself?

NAKED NURSE CRIMES

A 33-YEAR-OLD NURSE FORCED SEX ON A 60-YEAR-OLD ILLINOIS MAN AWAITING A HEART TRANSPLANT! What health insurance does he have?

WRONGFULLY CONVICTED

MAN EXONERATED FOR RAPE, 10 YEARS AFTER HE DIED IN PRISON! Better 10 guilty go free than 1 innocent convicted!

NAKED ALMOST CRIMES

FLORIDA POLICE RESPOND TO COMPLAINTS OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE TO FIND COUPLE HAVING LOUD SEX! Jealous neighbors?

OH NO, SAY IT ISN'T SO!

ELMO ARRESTED IN NY FOR AGGRESSIVE SOLICITATION! If that's a crime, they will be arresting 1/2 of people on Canal Street!

NAKED CRIMES - BAD DATE

1ST DATE ENDS WITH A HALF-NAKED WOMAN RUNNING OVER AND KILLING HER DATE! I guess saying no to a 2nd date wasn't an option....

COMIC CRIMES

SPIDERMAN AND BATMAN ARRESTED FOR ASSAULT IN TIMES SQUARE! Believe it or not, Spiderman has a record!

WHAT A GETAWAY, ALMOST!

A MICHIGAN WOMAN STEALS $600 IN CLOTHING AND USES WALMART ELECTRIC WHEELCHAIR CART FOR GETAWAY! She just didn't feel like walking!

NAKED CRIMES IN YOUR SLEEP

SEATTLE WOMAN BREAKS INTO HOUSE, PINS DOWN SLEEPING MAN AND HAS SEX WITH HIM! Talk about heavy sleeper!

NAKED MOTORCYCLE CRIMES

FLORIDA WOMAN SITTING ON MOTORCYCLE MASTURBATING WHILE NAKED FROM WAIST DOWN ARRESTED! Wonder if the bike was running?

NAKED CRIMES

A JOHN REFUSES TO PAY FOR SERVICES, SO HOOKER STEALS HOOKAHS AS PAYMENT! A girl has to get paid!

STRANGE LAWS

7 BIZARRE BEER LAWS IN THE U.S.! No "Happy Hour" in Colorado?

NAKED DRIVE-THRU CRIMES

A FLORIDA MAN REACHES IN DRIVE-THRU WINDOW TO GROPE A TACO BELL EMPLOYEE! I guess that wasn't on the dollar menu!

BAD BIEBER

JUSTIN BIEBER ARRESTED FOR ASSAULT AFTER DRIVING AN ATV RECKLESSLY AND CAUSING ACCIDENT. Such a nice kid... Not!

NAKED CELEBRITY CRIMES

HACKER LEAKS NUDE CELEBRITY PICS! That's awful! Ok, where are the pics??? ;)

NOMINEE: MOTHER OF THE YEAR

WOMAN DIALS 911 TO REPORT HER MISSING CHILD, AND THEN HANGS UP SAYING, "I HAVE TO GET ON STAGE!" Strippers have their priorities, too! 

NAKED CRIME HIDING SPOTS

A TRIO OF VEGAS WOMEN JOIN GUYS IN THEIR ROOM, STEAL THEIR ROLEXES AND HIDE THEM IN THEIR VAGINAS! That can't be comfortable!

NO WORDS....

A COUPLE POSES WITH CORPSE OF FRIEND WHO OD'D BEFORE LEAVING BODY ON SIDE OF ROAD! Anything can happen in Missouri!

DUMB CRIMINALS

ALS CHALLENGE LEADS TO ARREST AS WANTED MAN POSTS HIS VIDEO ONLINE! I hope he made his donation prior to his arrest!

NAKED CRIMES IN WALMART

A FLORIDA MAN CUTS A HOLE IN SHOE TO PLACE VIDEO iPOD FOR UPSKIRTING! In a Walmart in Florida; who would have thought?

ALMOST NAKED CRIMES

A MONTANA MAN CALLS 911 WHEN THE STRIPPER HE GAVE $360 TO WON'T HAVE SEX! Oops! Now cited for solicitation!

DUMB CRIMINALS

MAN ARRESTED WEARING T-SHIRT OF HIS OLD MUG SHOT GETS NEW MUG SHOT WEARING THAT SHIRT! Stupid is as....

NAKED CRIMES - HOUSE HUNTING

21-YEAR-OLD FLORIDA MAN ARRESTED FOR MASTURBATING ON RESIDENTIAL STREET! Only for the 3rd time!

A NEW LOW

A COUPLE IN WALES ROBS A WOMAN HAVING AN EPILEPTIC SEIZURE! Wrong on so many levels!

NAKED LAWN CHAIR CRIMES

SEATTLE WOMAN ARRESTED FOR HUMPING LAWN CHAIRS AND EXPOSING HERSELF! Lawn chairs... really?

NAKED FAST FOOD CRIMES

42-YEAR OLD FLORIDA WOMAN ARRESTED FOR HAVING SEX WITH 20-YEAR-OLD MALE IN FAST FOOD PARKING LOT! It was just a quickie!

GOOD COPS

MISSOURI OFFICER IN A DANCE-OFF WITH KIDS IN IMPROMPTU COMMUNITY BONDING! We need more of this bad dancing!

FLASHING LIGHTS IS FREE SPEECH

AN OREGON TRUCKER WHO FLASHED LIGHTS TO WARN AN ONCOMING UPS TRUCK OF COP WAS TICKETED! Judge rules Free Speech!

NAKED SUNBATHING CRIMES

UTAH MAN, SEEN SUNBATHING NUDE IN HIS BACKYARD THROUGH CHAIN LINK FENCE, WAS ARRESTED! Is that really lewd???

NAKED SHAVING CRIMES

A WOMAN DRIVER WAS SHAVING HER PRIVATES WHILE HER EX HELD WHEEL TO BE READY FOR BOYFRIEND! That's a complicated relationship!

NAKED YARD CRIMES!

A MASSACHUSETTS MAN USES LEAF BLOWER IN HIS FRONT YARD WHILE NUDE! Just getting back to nature!

NFL CRIMES

IT'S BARELY NFL PRESEASON AND VIKINGS' LINEMAN IS SHOT IN A NIGHTCLUB! Makes Congress look like choirboys! Almost!

NAKED CRIMES

MOM CALLS 911 AFTER DISCOVERING 15-YEAR-OLD SON HAD BEEN WATCHING PORN! 911, really?

ANOTHER MOTHER-OF-THE-YEAR CANDIDATE

FLORIDA MOM LEAVES 8-YEAR-OLD IN CAR TO DRINK, AND BACKS IN TO 2 CARS WHILE LEAVING! Arrested for DUI and child neglect.

NAKED PERVERTED CRIMES

SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA MAN TO RECEIVE PRISON TIME FOR PLACING CAMERAS IN YOUNG GIRLS' DRESSING ROOMS! He'll like prison....

DUMB CRIMINALS

FLORIDA WOMAN POSES FOR PHOTO WITH STOLEN CREDIT CARD AFTER CLERK BECOMES SUSPICIOUS! Smart clerk!

NAKED CRIMES

FLORIDA GRANDMA SENTENCED TO 6-MONTHS JAIL FOR HAVING SEX IN PUBLIC! She was even on a stage!

NAKED & BIZARRE CRIMES

W. VIRGINIA WOMAN WALKS HER HUSBAND ON A LEASH WHILE NAKED! He must have been bad!

10 Best Criminal Defense Attorneys

Mr. Kent is pleased to have been selected as one of the 10 Best Criminal Law Attorneys for 2014 based on client satisfaction!

NAKED ANIMAL CRIMES

AN ENGLISH VETERINARIAN IS SUSPENDED AFTER VIDEOS OF HIM HAVING SEX WITH A DOG AND A HORSE ARE FOUND! Hmm, speaks for itself!

SPIDERMAN ARRESTED!

SPIDERMAN WAS ARRESTED AFTER PUNCHING A NEW YORK POLICE OFFICER. I guess Spiderman XII is on hold....

NAKED CRIMES

GREEN BAY MAN IS ARRESTED AFTER DARTING IN AND OUT OF TRAFFIC! Yep, LSD has that effect!

MOTHER OF THE YEAR CANDIDATE

RHODE ISLAND MOTHER PUTS METHADONE IN 6-MONTH-OLD'S FORMULA! What the f*&%?

NAKED ROOF CRIMES

A DELAWARE COUPLE IS ARRESTED AFTER BEING SPOTTED HAVING SEX ON ROOF! It looked like a good spot!

TEXAS JUDGE BEGS FOR LENIENCY

AFTER BEING PULLED OVER FOR DUI, A TEXAS JUDGE BEGS TO BE LET GO! No special treatment from this officer!

SMOKE CAUSES FIRE?

I THOUGHT FIRE CAUSED SMOKE! NOT IN THIS CASE, AS MR. SMOKE IS ARRESTED FOR ARSON! I couldn't resist the irony!

NAKED TRUTH OR KIMMEL PRANK?

23-YEAR-OLD L.A. HOTTIE ACCIDENTALLY SEND DAD NUDE PIC! Then goes to Twitter to see how to stop it!

NAKED YOGA CRIMES

FLORIDA WOMAN STRIPS AND BEGINS YOGA POSES ON ROADWAY! Hard to believe heroin and other drugs were found in her car!

DOMESTIC BLISS?

MISSOURI MAN SHOOTS WIFE BECAUSE "I GOT TIRED OF HER". I guess he didn't want to give up 1/2 the trailer!

POLICE THREATEN TO PHOTOGRAPH MINOR'S PENIS

AND TO MEDICALLY INDUCE AN ERECTION ON THE 17 YEAR-OLD IF NECESSARY IN SEXTING CASE! The police later reconsidered!

FAMILY CALLS 911 OVER HOUSE CAT

CAT HOLDS FAMILY HOSTAGE IN THEIR OWN BEDROOM AND CALLS 911! I never cared for cats!

IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE BLUE

FLORIDA SUPREME COURT RULES THAT YOU CANNOT STOP VEHICLE FOR BEING DIFFERENT COLOR! Seemed pretty obvious to begin with, officer!

LOSER LITIGANTS

MAN WHO FALLS ASLEEP AT YANKEES GAME WANTS $10 MILLION FOR DEFAMATION! Get a life!

NAKED JAIL CRIMES

ASPIRING MODEL ARRESTED FOR ROLE IN SHOOTING EXPOSES HER GENITALS TO GUARD AND PICKS UP NEW CHARGE! I guess she's not all she thought she was!

WORST DISGUISE EVER?

PERMANENT MARKER MASKS COULDN'T KEEP THEM FROM BEING ARRESTED! Couldn't afford a Halloween mask?

NAKED CRIMES AREN'T DEAD

BUT THIS NURSE'S SEX PARTNERS WERE! And, she was only 82 years old!

POLICE BRUTALITY

CHP OFFICER ON VIDEO PUNCHING WOMAN REPEATEDLY! There is no excuse for this!

WOMAN POSES AS DOCTOR

A PENNSYLVANIA WOMAN POSING AS A DOCTOR GIVES MEN PHYSICAL EXAMS! She could have just asked!

MAN YELLS AT JUDGE

IN CUSTODY ON DOMESTIC VIOLENCE CHARGES, MAN YELLS OBSCENITIES AT JUDGE! Not the brightest bulb!

DRIVE-THRU WEED

MARYLAND WOMAN GETS A BAG OF MARIJUANA WITH HER COMBO ORDER AT SONIC! Like Cracker-Jacks!

FATHER OF THE YEAR

TODDLER DIES IN HOT CAR AND POLICE FIND INTERNET SEARCH ON FATHER'S COMPUTER RE HOW LONG TO DIE IN HOT CAR! Sick and deranged!

FOX NEWS ANCHOR ARREST

NEWS ANCHOR GREGG JARRETT SCUFFLES WITH POLICE AND IS ARRESTED! All caught on video!

NOT SO SMART STUDENTS

CRIMINAL CHARGES FILED ON SOPHOMORE WHO LOGS INTO SCHOOL COMPUTERS TO CHANGE GRADES AND ATTENDANCE! Bet he got an A in computer science!

NAKED CHEESE CRIMES

MAN WITH GENITALS EXPOSED SOLICITS 3 WOMEN TO PLACE SWISS CHEESE ON HIS GENITALS AND PERFORM LEWD ACTS! Just plain odd!

BREAST DEFENSE

COMMUNITY SERVICE IS "TOO TIRING" AND "MY BOOBS ARE MORE IMPORTANT THAN THE LAW" OR PROBATION APPOINTMENTS! So says soft-porn model!

DUI CHECKPOINT WARNING

OHIO MAN IS CITED FOR HOLDING A "DUI CHECKPOINT AHEAD: TURN NOW" SIGN! Just exercising his 1st Amendment rights!

DUMB CRIMINALS

MAN HIDES DRUGS AND CELL PHONES INSIDE FOOTBALL, BUT CAN'T GET IT OVER THE FENCE TO PRISON! QB tryouts are over for him!

NAKED TRUCK SURFER

A NUDE MAN ON ROOF OF TRUCK ON NEW MEXICO HIGHWAY FALLS AND CAUSES HUGE PILE-UP! Dude, there's no beach in NM!

BAD MEDICINE

OOPS! WE REMOVED THE WRONG KIDNEY! What you do not want to hear after surgery....

SMART CRIMINALS

DRUG CARTELS DISGUISE METH AS LIQUID IN TEQUILA AND DETERGENT BOTTLES TO CROSS BORDER! That'll put pep in your step!

NAKED TEACHER CRIMES

MARRIED CALIFORNIA TEACHER ARRESTED FOR ALLEGED SEVERAL YEAR LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP WITH STUDENT! Yes, another teacher arrested!

NAKED CRIMES CONTINUE

A FLORIDA MAN SEXTS X-RATED PHOTOS TO OFFICER WHO RESPONDED TO 911 CALL ON CELL! It was an emergency!

NAKED CRIMES

MAN ARRESTED AFTER AGREEING TO UNDERCOVER OFFICER'S REQUEST "I'LL GIVE YOU A BLOW JOB FOR A SALAD"! I guess cash is old school!

PARENTS OF THE YEAR NOMINEES

A 6-YEAR-OLD BRINGS 11 PACKETS OF HEROIN TO PHILADELPHIA SCHOOL! Wonder who that belonged to?

DUMB CRIMINALS

WOMAN STEALS iPHONE AND THEN POSTS SELFIES ON VICTIM'S FACEBOOK ACCOUNT! Some nerve and stupidity!

NAKED SENIOR CRIMES

A 68-YEAR-OLD WOMAN AND HER 49-YEAR-OLD BOYFRIEND ARRESTED FOR PUBLIC SEX AT SENIOR CENTER! Florida strikes again!

DUMB CRIMINALS

KENTUCKY MAN WEARING AN "ALL MY FRIENDS ARE BAKED" T-SHIRT BUSTED FOR MARIJUANA! Who would have thought?

DUMB CRIMINALS

MOUNTAIN BIKE RIDER MALCOLM FOX HAS BIKE, CELL PHONE, ETC. STOLEN AT GUNPOINT! But not his GoPro!

JELLO-SHOTS TO GO

A WOMAN IN MINNESOTA ARRESTED FOR DRUNK DRIVING HAD 3 JELLO-SHOTS IN HER PANTS POCKET! Always be prepared!

NAKED TEACHER CRIMES

GYM TEACHER ALLEGEDLY RAPES STUDENT SHE'D BEEN HAVING SEX WITH OUT OF JEALOUSY OVER PROM DATE! A little possessive, huh?

WHAT NOT TO SAY ON AN AIRPLANE

WHEN ASKED TO TURN OFF HER CELL PHONE, PASSENGER RESPONDS, "I KILL WHITE PEOPLE LIKE YOU!" Think she missed her flight?

NAKED TRUCKER CRIMES

BRITISH TRUCKER WAS LOOKING AT PORN ON HIS CELL PHONE, LOST CONTROL AND KILLED WOMAN! That's why they have truck stops!

PUBLIC DEFENDER FIGHTS FOR HIS CLIENT

A  PUBLIC DEFENDER LITERALLY FIGHTS THE JUDGE WHUKE REPRESENTING HIS CLIENT! Talk about zealous representation!

DUMB CRIMINALS

WOMAN IS ROBBED ON WASHINGTON FERRY AND THEN FRIENDED ON FACEBOOK THE NEXT DAY BY THIEF! Is a single, common tattoo enough to ID?

NAKED CRIME WATCHERS!

A MAN HIDES IN AN APARTMENT IN ORDER TO WATCH A LESBIAN COUPLE HAVE SEX! Someone tell the voyeur that porn is legal!

WOMAN LICKS THEN SERVES FOOD!

A WOMAN AT A NEW MEXICO CORRECTIONAL FACILITY LICKED FOOD BEFORE SERVING! Just flat out wrong!

JUDICIAL STUPIDITY

A MISSISSIPPI JUDGE ALLEGEDLY SLAPS, AND SHOUTS RACIAL SLURS AT BLACK MAN IN PUBLIC! Stupid is as stupid does!

ANOTHER MOTHER OF THE YEAR CANDIDATE!

POLICE ARREST KENTUCKY MOM WHO LEFT HER KIDS IN CAR AS SHE WENT TO GET WAXED! A Brazilian in Kentucky?

WHAT A GETAWAY

A SOUTH CAROLINA MAN SHOPLIFTS PRODUCE AND FLEES ON HIS MOWER! That's style!

DUMB CRIMINALS

MAN ARRESTED WEARING "IT'S ALL FUN AND GAMES UNTIL THE COPS SHOW UP T-SHIRT"! Always be prepared!

NAKED CRIMES CONTINUE!

A TENNESSEE MAN TRIES TO HAVE SEX WITH AN ATM, PICNIC TABLE AND THEN WALKS AROUND BAR NUDE! TN must have sexy ATM's!

NAKED CRIMES

A STRIPPER IS ARRESTED IN A THEFT INVESTIGATION, SLAPS OFFICER, THEN STRIPS AND MASTURBATES IN JAIL CELL! Where's the popcorn?

PEYTON MANNING ARRESTED IN TENNESSEE!

YES, PEYTON MANNING WAS ARRESTED IN TENNESSEE ON DRUG CHARGES! Oh, not THAT Peyton Manning, a girl named after him!

NAKED CRIMES RETURN!

A NAKED COUPLE IS PHOTOGRAPHED AND THEN ARRESTED FOR HAVING SEX NEXT TO AN ATM! Maybe the guy didn't have enough for a room!

ALEC BALDWIN LOST HIS TEMPER?

AFTER BALDWIN WAS STOPPED ON HIS BICYCLE FOR RIDING WRONG WAY, HE LOST HIS TEMPER AND WAS ARRESTED! Lost his temper? No way!

TEACHER OF THE YEAR CANDIDATE?

AN OKLAHOMA HIGH SCHOOL ENGLISH TEACHER TRADES GRADES FOR SEX! Teachers still think they can get away with this?

DUMB CRIMINALS!

A MASKED MAN POSTS A SELFIE PRIOR TO WEARING THE SAME MASK DURING A BURGLARY! Long live stupid people!

NAKED CRIMES RETURN!

A NEW YORK MAN HIGH ON EMBALMING FLUID STRIPS NAKED AND STARTS SCREAMING "SURFBOARD"! As he dances Beyonce style!

CANNIBAL COP: WHERE IS HE NOW?

THE CANNIBAL COP IS NOW A JAILHOUSE COOK! Seriously? And, they say they've NEVER tasted anything like it?

PUTTING THE SEXY BACK IN READING!

A NEW YORK BOOK CLUB DECIDES TO READ TOPLESS IN CENTRAL PARK TO SHOW THAT READING IS SEXY! What a wonderful idea!

BUT HE JUST WANTED TO CALL HOME!

A BODY SCAN REVEALED THAT A LOUISIANA INMATE HAD A CELL PHONE HIDDEN IN HIS RECTUM! Sometimes you just need to call home!

HOW NOT TO MAKE A GETAWAY!

LAGUNA BEACH MAN IS ARRESTED WHILE WAITING FOR HIS GETAWAY CAR, A MUNICIPAL BUS! Not such a great plan!

NAKED SUPERHERO CRIMES?

CAPTAIN AMERICA ARRESTED FOR TEXTING UNDERAGE GIRL PICS OF HIS PENIS! Can someone give Wonder Woman my number?

OOPS! DUMB CRIMINALS TWEET AGAIN!

23-YEAR-OLD BOSTON GANG MEMBER AND RECENT FELON TWEETS PICS OF HIMSELF WITH GUNS! Unbeknownst to him, a Boston cop is a follower!

ILLEGAL BIKINIS? SAY IT ISN'T SO!

THE SPANISH ISLAND OF MALLORCA PROPOSED A LAW TO BAN WEARING BIKINIS, EXCEPT AT THE BEACH! Are city workers too distracted?

CALL 911, HE'S LAZY!

GRANDPA CALLS 911 TO REPORT THAT HIS GRANDSON IS LAZY AND PLAYS COMPUTER GAMES ALL DAY! I'm sure the police had nothing better to do!

ANOTHER MOTHER-OF-THE-YEAR CONTESTANT!

MOM SUFFOCATES NEWBORN AND DISPOSES OF BABY IN PLASTIC BAG SO BOYFRIEND WON'T DUMP HER! Well, if he was going to dump you....

SAYING GOODBYE TO THE 4TH AMENDMENT!

FEDERAL COURT RULES THAT DRIVING WITH HANDS AT 10-AND-2, TAKING A SCENIC ROUTE AND ACNE ARE REASON TO STOP YOU! Our Founding Fathers are weeping!

WRONGLY ACCUSED ON DEATH ROW?

A NEW STUDY FUNDS THAT, CONSERVATIVELY, OVER 4% OF THE INMATES ON DEATH ROW ARE INNOCENT! Another reason the death penalty must go!

A KKK HYPOCRITE?

THE KKK GRANDMASTER ACCUSED OF KILLING 3 AT JEWISH CENTER, PREVIOUSLY ARRESTED WITH BLACK TRANSVESTITE HOOKER! Nothing more to say!

A NEW LOW!

AN OHIO WOMAN CAUGHT ON VIDEO STEALING A STUFFED ANIMAL FROM A CHILD'S GRAVESITE! You know what they say about karma!

PARENTS OF THE YEAR CONTESTANTS!

PARENTS LEAVE A SEMI-AUTOMATIC PISTOL UNLOCKED AND 13-YEAR-OLD BOY BRINGS IT TO SCHOOL! Has anyone heard of firearm safety?

NAKED CRIMES, HIDDEN GUNS!

A TENNESSEE GIRL ARRESTED FOR DRIVING ON A SUSPENDED LICENSE IS FOUND TO HAVE A LOADED FIREARM IN HER... YEP, VAGINA! She must have just forgot!

DUMB CRIMINALS!

A GEORGIA SEX OFFENDER TRAVELS TO COLORADO, WHILE ON AN ANKLE BRACELET, TO MEET AN UNDERAGE GIRL! Stupid is as stupid does!

DUMB CRIMINALS!

A MAN NAMED "COCAINE" BUSTED ON NARCOTICS CHARGE IN FLORIDA! The poor guy never had a chance!

SICK, DISGUSTING, NAKED CRIMES!

ARKANSAS MAN FILMS HIMSELF RAPING A 2-YEAR-OLD! Stupid, sick, disgusting.... OK, i vomitted!

NAKED DOCTOR CRIMES!

AN ARKANSAS GYNECOLOGIST IS ACCUSED OF TAKING NUDE PHOTOS OF HIS PATIENTS! Naked crimes never stop!

NAKED CRIMES RETURN!

A PANTSLESS FLORIDA WOMAN STEALS 2 BOXES OF WINE! Oh yah, Florida + boxed wine = nothing unusual about being pantsless!

DON'T STEAL! (ESPECIALLY IN BOLIVIA)

AMAZON VILLAGERS TIE 2 MOTORCYCLE THIEVES TO POISONOUS, FIRE-ANT INFESTED TREE AS PUNISHMENT! I'm itching just thinking about it!

"I AM A BULLY" SIGN AS PART OF SENTENCE!

AN OHIO MAN WHO PLED GUILTY TO DISORDERLY CONDUCT FOR BULLYING DISABLED CHILDREN IS SENTENCED TO CARRY SIGN! This guy needs to get a life!

MODEL DEMANDS SEX AT KNIFEPOINT!

ROMANIAN MODEL FORCES CABBIE INTO HER APARTMENT FOR SEX AT KNIFEPOINT AND THEN STABS HIM WHEN HE COULDN'T PERFORM THE 2ND TIME! But she was on meds!

NAKED NATIONAL PARK CRIMES!

A MAN STOPS HIS YOGA POSE, AND DROPS HIS PANTS TO BEGIN MASTURBATING AS TWO WOMEN STROLL BY! Now faces federal indecency charges!

WHAT NOT TO WEAR IF YOU DRINK AND DRIVE!

AN OREGON MAN INVESTIGATED FOR DUI IS WEARING A "DRUNK AS SH%T" T-SHIRT! You can't fix stupid!

NAKED CRIMES!

TOPLESS WOMAN RANSACKS A McDONALD'S AFTER EMPLOYEE REFUSES ORAL SEX, AND THEN FIGHTS OFF OFFICERS WITH LICKS AND KISSES! Bath Salts return?

DUMB CRIMINALS!

WOMAN CALLS POLICE TO COMPLAIN ABOUT A BAD BATCH OF MARIJUANA HER DEALER WOULD NOT REFUND! Should have bought the extended warranty!

NAKED COWBOY CRIMES!

A MAN BREAKS INTO A HOME WEARING ONLY A COWBOY HAT, HAS A BEER, LISTENS TO MUSIC, AND IS LATER ARRESTED! Definitely a free spirit!

NAKED 3-WHEELER CRIMES!

A NEW JERSEY MAN IS ARRESTED AFTER REPORTS OF A MAN RIDING A TRICYCLE NAKED IN AN APARTMENT COMPLEX! While chewing glass and high on cocaine!

DUMB FACEBOOK CRIMINALS!

22-YEAR-OLD MICHIGAN WOMAN HAS HER DUI PROBATION VIOLATED AFTER ADMITTING CONSUMING ALCOHOL ON FACEBOOK! Stupid is as stupid does....

OUTSTANDING OFFICER!

THE HEAD OF SAN DIEGO PD'S HOMELESS OUTREACH TEAM (HOT) IS SET TO RETIRE! I pray they have a similar replacement!

MOTHER OF THE YEARS CANDIDATE?

DID THIS MISSISSIPPI MOTHER ALLOW HERSELF TO BE CONVICTED AND PUT ON DEATH ROW FOR MURDER HER SON COMMITTED? Son confesses he committed the murder!

NAKED TREE CRIMES!

A NAKED ALABAMA MAN ARRESTED IN A TREE HE WAS MAKING HIS HOME! What's wrong with au natural in nature?

DUMB CRIMINALS!

DRUNK INDIANA MAN ARRESTED IN T-SHIRT, UNDERWEAR, PANTS AND SOCK! YES, ONE SOCK, AND PANTS OVER HIS ARMS! Maybe he's a fashion designer?

TV'S JUDGE BROWN JAILED!

FORMER TV JUDGE BROWN IS JAILED FOR CONTEMPT BY A TENNESSEE JUDGE! You mean you can't do all those things they do on TV in real life?

TEEN KEEPS COP IN LINE!

A TEXAS TEEN ISSUES A HANDWRITTEN PARKING TICKET TO AN OFFICER WHO PARKED ILLEGALLY! Not only did the officer pay it, he gave the teen a gift card!

WHERE ARE MY FRIES!!!

AN OKLAHOMA MAN POINTS A GUN AT A McDONALD'S CASHIER AFTER NOTICING HE WAS MISSING HIS FRIES! You don't mess with a man's fries!

NAKED ANIMAL CRIMES!

DAYTONA MAN ARRESTES FOR HAVING SEX WITH A PUPPY ON HIS FRONT PORCH! What kind of drugs is this guy taking?

WANTED: DUMPSTER SEX COUPLE!

A DELAWARE COUPLE IS CAUGHT ON VIDEO GETTING THEIR LUCKY CARMS ON ST. PATRICK'S DAY! Suspects are still at large! Check your local dumpster!

TWISTED TWEETS!

L.A. MAN ARRESTED AFTER TWEETING "100 RT'S (RE-TWEETS) AND I'LL SHOOT SOMEONE WALKING"! What an idiot!

FREE AFTER 17 YEARS!

AFTER 17 YEARS IN PRISON, AND HELP FROM AN ASTRONAUTS MOM, EXCULPATORY EVIDENCE WAS FOUND! Prosecution hid evidence of deal with witness!

NAKED CRIMES!

A MASSACHUSETTS MAN CRASHES AFTER DOING DONUTS IN HIS CAR, THEN UNDRESSES AND FLEES THE SCENE NAKED! Some left over bath salts maybe?

NAKED VIDEO CRIMES!

A 25-YEAR-OLD WOMAN FINDS 11 HIDDEN CAMERAS IN HER APARTMENT AFTER HER BOSS/LANDLORD REMODELS! He probably charged her for the remodel, too!

NAKED PENIS CRIMES!

A CHINESE WOMAN CUTS OFF MAN'S PENIS, FLUSHES IT DOWN THE TOILET, AND THEN KILLS HIM WITH A HAMMER! Shouldn't have raped her AND her daughter!

WOMEN OF WALMART!

AN OHIO WOMAN POSTS LEWD COMMENTS AND PHOTOS INSIDE WALMART OF EMPLOYEE WHO HAD AN AFFAIR WITH HER HUSBAND! In Walmart? Nooooo....

DUMB CRIMINALS!

FACEBOOK CATCHES BANK ROBBER, AS MICHIGAN MAN CAN'T HELP BUT POST SELFIES WHICH LEAD TO ARREST! I guess this guy hasn't read about his predecessors!

GIVE ME A BITE OF YOUR BURRITO!

A 24-YEAR-OLD SEATTLE MAN'S DEMAND THAT A CUSTOMER GIVE HIM A BITE OF HIS BURRITO LEADS TO ASSAULT! That must have been some burrito!

HOLY NAKED CRIMES, BATMAN!

AN AUSTRALIA MAN ENTERS A THRIFT STORE IN ONLY A THONG, AND STEALS A BATMAN COSTUME! I can hear the Joker laughing now!

ANOTHER "MOTHER OF THE YEAR" NOMINEE!

A PREGNANT SOUTH CAROLINA WOMAN DRIVES HER AND HER 3 KIDS INTO THE OCEAN! Check out the video!

BAN "LETHAL" TASERS!

AN 18-YEAR-OLD GRAFFITI ARTIST DIED AFTER BEING TASED IN MIAMI! Non-lethal tasers sure seem more lethal than they are supposed to be!

NAKED ANIMAL SEX CRIMES!

FLORIDA NEIGHBORS SHOUT AT A MAN HAVING SEX WITH A PIT BULL, AND HE IGNORED THEM! You have to see this guy's mugshot!

NAKED CRIMES - "UPSKIRTING" LEGAL!

THE MASSACHUSETTS SUPREME COURT RULES THAT "UPSKIRTING" IS LEGAL BASED ON CURRENT STATUTE! Go get you GoPro shoe mounts Boston!

TROUBLE IN PARADISE!

A WISCONSIN MOTHER OF 3 OFFERS $1,000 AND SEX IN EXCHANGE FOR FIANCE'S MURDER! Think what she'd have offered if they had been married!

DUMB CRIMINALS!

A MICHIGAN MAN SETS OFF HIS OWN HOME ALARM WHICH EXPOSES TO THE ARRIVING POLICE HIS MARIJUANA GROW! How did that get there?

DYSFUNCTIONAL FAMILIES!

SISTER WHO ACCUSES BROTHER OF "NOT PUTTING THE TOILET SEAT DOWN" IS ASSAULTED! What if he forgets to take the trash out?

INNOCNET MAN EXECUTED?

TEXAS MAY HAVE EXECUTED AN INNOCENT MAN IN 2004 PER THE INNOCENCE PROJECT! Another reason the government should not sanction murder!

INCOMPETENT INVESTIGATORS!

A FLORIDA TEENAGER SITS IN JAIL FOR 35 DAYS, BEFORE COPS FIGURE OUT IT WAS THE WRONG "CODY WILLIAMS"! Hmm, 2 people with the same name?

SADISTIC ANIMAL HATERS!

A 21-YEAR-OLD LOUISIANA MAN GOES IN TO PET STORE AND SQUEEZES A HAMSTER TO DEATH! Must feel like a real tough guy after that!

NAKED DRAWING CRIMES!

A NY MAN FINDS OUT HIS EX-WIFE IS DATING AND THEN BROKE IN TO HER APARTMENT RO PAINT PENISES OVER HER ARTWORK! Now we know why he is her ex!

CORRUPT COPS!

THE KING CITY, CA POLICE CHIEF AND SEVERAL OFFICERS WERE ARRESTED FOR ILLEGALLY SELLING IMPOUNDED CARS OF POOR HISPANICS! Just who can you trust?

NAKED TAXI CAB CRIMES!

A TAXI-DRIVER CALLS POLICE WHO FIND TO SEMI-CLOTHED PASSENGERS IN THE BACKSEAT REFUSING TO PAY THE FARE! Get a room already!

BONEHEAD BIEBER BROADCAST!

SURPRISE! GEORGIA POLICE SEARCH BIEBER'S LIMO AND FIND MARIJUANA AND BONGS! The search for Bieber intelligence and talent continues!

89-YER-OLD RAPE VICTIM WAS A FLIRT!

NURSING HOME DIRECTOR IGNORES PATIENT'S RAPE CLAIMS, BECAUSE THE 89-YEAR-OLD WAS SUCH A "FLIRT"! Open your checkbook buddy!